Some people who lack emotional intelligence and empathy use derogatory name calling or offensive jokes to beat others down.
Derogatory name calling and offensive jokes is verbal abuse and bullying. I believe that the perpetrators are evil.
Some people see name calling and offensive jokes as a source of fun for themselves, fun at the expense of others.
Calling someone derogatory names or using offensive jokes against them is also a form of hate speech.
If you partake in that kind of awful behaviour you are telling your victims that you hate them and you have no respect for them.
You also have no care for your victims or their welfare. No care for their mental or physical health.
Also behaviour is a choice. And you choose the words that come out of your mouth.
From my lifetime experience I heard so many people use horrible names to abuse others. Names like gom, f*****g eegit, stupid, gob shite, no good for anything, fool etc.
The closer you are to the person the more the derogatory name calling and abusive jokes will hurt you.
If a husband is called names by his wife or a wife is called names by her husband it will cause devastating damage to the family unit. And the hurt and mental pain suffered by the victim will be permanent.
Without respect there is nothing.
I have observed that people who call others derogatory names choose their targets carefully. They will pick on someone who is sensitive, helpful, kind and polite. They consider kindness and politeness to be a weakness and this makes kind people vulnerable.
And unfortunately it is human nature to abuse vulnerable people and that is very wrong.
And evil people will also take advantage of kind people to use them for their own gain.
Some people who call people names, insult and use offensive jokes, if called out on their behaviour, may say that they didn't mean it.
Of course they meant it. Why would you say something that you didn't mean?
Psychology Today truthfully states that.
“Sadly, some people name-call with the intent to harass, intimidate, or demean. What they say isn’t by accident, but very intentional”.
Also using offensive jokes to make fun of someone is not on. I knew a few people who did this to others all the time and it was so horrible.
I have seen and heard so much of this awful verbal abuse over the years and I utterly hate it.
It is tragic when children witness adults use derogatory name calling and offensive jokes against others including against their children. Witnessing or experiencing such bullying will either terrify children or teach them that it is ok to bully and abuse others.
It is the duty of parents to teach their children that they must never ever call another child a derogatory name or use offensive jokes.
To be a victim of name calling and offensive jokes is a terrible experience for adult victims but even worse for children. It will damage self confidence and mental and physical health.
“Taking name-calling seriously is one of many ways adults can stand up to bullying and help cultivate a safe, positive environment for all children”.
https://www.maryvale.org/http/maryvalenews2016.blogspot.com/why-name-calling-is-harmful
I was discussing name calling and offensive jokes with someone and she said “ah well people will do that.”
No, people don't have to do that. Good manners and politeness cost nothing.
When it comes to adults calling other people derogatory names and using offensive jokes it is often down to social class and lack of education. There are exceptions of course.
Rude people may go on to be physically violent. Many women in Ireland have been murdered by an intimate partner.
The best advice for both men and women who are dating is to be very vigilant. At the first sign of rudeness, turn and walk away and do not look back. Your mental and physical health will thank you.
How many people would have better physical and mental health or even be still alive today if they had taken heed of the first red flag and ran for their lives. Never ever give a rude person a second chance.
This goes for every adult you meet. At the first sign of rudeness from a person keep your dignity and walk away from that person and stay away.
Life experience has taught me that no matter how kind you are to a rude person they will not change. Your kindness will make a rude person even more nasty than they already are. They will use your kindness against you.
I was so naive for most of my life that I believed that rude people were weak people who were hurt by life.
I thought that they were weak because they were using rude behaviour to compensate for the adverse childhood experiences they suffered in childhood.
I thought that if rude people were given unconditional kindness it would turn them into nice people. How wrong I was.
A leopard never changes its spots.
And many people who experienced awful adverse childhood experiences are good and strong people with impeccable manners.
Behaviour is a choice.
Adults must guide and protect children from rude ignorant people and watch who their children mix with. Some children who are badly raised are a bad influence on decent children and parents need to be vigilant.
"The effects of verbal abuse can be long-lasting and can lead to a host of physical and mental health struggles," says Juanita Guerra, a clinical psychologist in New Rochelle, New York.
https://eu.usatoday.com/story/life/health-wellness/2025/05/15/what-is-verbal-abuse/83551121007/
This article on USA Today deals with verbal abuse in general.
Life is short and the years pass quickly. We need to do our best to live each day as if it is our last day.
Treat others as we wish to be treated but protect ourselves from nasty people.
Just like smoking and excess use of alcohol, rude people are also very dangerous for our health and wellbeing.
It is important to give rude people a wide berth no matter who they are or how they are related to you.
Be careful who you mix with. Unfortunately it took me most of my life to learn this very valuable lesson.